Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
