Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
