she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
