Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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