i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
