Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
