I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
