i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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