the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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