At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
