Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
