Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Are we still banned from the library?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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