hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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