I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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