oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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