She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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