Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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