Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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