Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's get the cat blown out
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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