We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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