I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
