What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize