We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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