I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
did you just send me my own nude
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
