I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
