OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
