i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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