you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
