This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
