Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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