I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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