why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this just has baby written all over it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
