You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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