I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
