i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
