...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
