i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I touched a dick in church today
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