drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
