absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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