I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
