Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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