Will you blow on my dice?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
