Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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