I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
