she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
