what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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