There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The best revenge is premature balding
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
