I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
