Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
