my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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