Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
