the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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