i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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