Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
