That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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