Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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