Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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