I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
